Solbit Observes, “All Signs Indicate We’re Back in Portland, Oregon.”

Dear Nicalai,

All signs indicate that we’re back in Portland now.  Portland’s signs are often weird and funny.  Because my reading and writing have improved, I’m starting to notice signs.  When I saw this crazy sign in Portland, Oregon, it made no sense to me.  Can you explain it?

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Is it “slow children” or is it “children texting” so go slow?

When I asked Papa, he taught me a new word, “Baffling.”  He replied, “Solbit, the sign is on a sidewalk; it has no punctuation…” (that means commas, semi-colons, periods, and the like) “…so I find the message baffling.”  Whew! If Papa’s baffled, then it’s ok for me to be baffled too.

Hey, speaking of Papa, you know that he has big troubles with dairy products.  He’s what is called “lactose intolerant.” If he accidentally gets cheese, milk, ice cream or cream in something he eats, then, oh, girl, get out the Fabreze Air Effects — their Mediterranean Lavender fragrance works best, I think. So, when I saw this sign, Papa and Fabreze immediately came to mind.

Great sign for an ice cream truck, right?

Great sign for an ice cream truck, right?

Nona and I shared a big ice cream cone of salted caramel chocolate, though.  We both support lactose tolerance, a lot. Papa didn’t have any, even though he likes the taste.

The “Nerd” word used to seem like a put-down word for people who knew a lot about one thing, but, knowing Uncle Josh changed all that for me.  He knows so much about plants that he is definitely a “plant nerd,” but he’s a really great uncle.  If he’s a nerd, then nerds are good people.

We need to keep our distracted nerds safe from distracted drivers.

We need to keep our distracted nerds safe from distracted drivers.

I wonder if this sign was put up on the road just to protect our Uncle Josh?  He used to work a lot on Sauvie Island, you know, where we saw this sign.

When you hear or read the word “rip”, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not about fabric.  Right?  Well, when you see this sign in Portland, …

 It’s about basketball! 

It’s about basketball! (and offers a great wedding photo backdrop, too!)

it’s not about fabric or making wind (Nona said that’s the polite way to say what you’re thinking).  No, Nona and Papa asked a lot of people in Portland what “rip city” meant. Most Portlanders said they had no idea. So, they also researched it and found this story.  Yeah, some basketball coach jumped up and yelled “rip city!” when one of his players made a winning three point shot in the final second of a basketball game.  The newspapers reported his exclamation, and that’s how Portland got the name Rip City.

You gotta admit, Portland has some crazy signs, doesn’t it?  Whenever signs like these come into view, I will know they indicate that I’m back in Portland, Oregon.  Bye for now.

I’m your friend.

Love,

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Solbit

September 2015

*New reader? Get oriented below.

  • You may be asking yourself, “Who is Solbit?” Solbit is a fictional character, but she is a real plastic dinosaur, sent to us unsolicited in a package we ordered from Photojojo. So, she’s a plastic jurassic. Solbit is short for the four names given her by our grandchildren: Sparkle, Orangie, Lulu, Breakit. We tend to use her given names for when she’s been naughty. Thank you for visiting Tales of a Plastic Jurassic. Solbit likes company and hopes you’ll come back.
  • You can learn more about Solbit at her About page and in the earlier posts, “Solbit: How I Got My Name” and “Solbit: How I Got to Travel.”

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