Solbit Wants to Know “Just How Dangerous Is Australia, Anyway?”

*New reader? Get oriented below.

Dear Nicalai,

The moment I heard Nona say, “Oh, Papa, there goes a helmeted friarbird!,” I thought “Get me out of Australia!”  Hey, I don’t want to be in a country where birds have to wear helmets.  I mean, don’t you think that kind of a country has got to be too dangerous?

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Nona and Papa just take too many risks.  Sometimes they just don’t think.  When I pointed out that this country is so dangerous that friarbirds are wearing helmets, they insulted me by laughing.  They laugh in the face of danger. OK, if that’s what they want to do, but not me.

After we saw that bird in Port Douglas, they took me to the Great Barrier Reef.  We had a wonderful cruise ride to the far eastern side of the reef, a place named Agincourt Reef.  We went snorkeling.  Have you ever done that?  You wear a facemask, put your face down in the water, and breath through a little tube that sticks out above the water.  Suddenly, you see all kinds of sea creatures, wonderful colors, coral, sea plants.  Wow! I thought it was great, for about five minutes, and then this:

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You know how small I am, right? Well, this big boy’s mouth could have swallowed about five of me at once.  Did you ever try to yell under water?  Take my advice.  Don’t try it.  It doesn’t work.  I had to quickly swim under Nona’s armpit and hide from “Big Gulper” or whatever this fish is called. I call it, “Dangerous.”

I have to admit that the cruise back to Port Douglas was good, though. I even had time for a nap, while Papa drank a beer with some big, burly, bearded guy, Frank, and Nona chatted with his wife, Tina.  Nona and Papa had a good time with them.  So, Australia is not all bad.  But let me get back to my point.  Australia is dangerous!  Listen to this.

We get off the boat, walk back to our AirBnB place, and as we’re walking into our courtyard, I have to scream, “Look out! BIG SPIDER in your face!”

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Yeah,  I think it’s called a golden orb spider.  It’s big.  That thing might not eat me for lunch, but I don’t want it gnawing on my neck for some red blood cells.  Wait a minute, “Nona, do I have red blood cells or are dinosaur’s blood cells different?”  She doesn’t know, and Papa is taking a nap.  Let’s presume that my blood cells are red.

By now, Nona and Papa think I’m alarmist, overreacting, and a scaredy cat.  They tell me to calm down, and they will take me out to supper at The Surf Club.  Hey, I’m no scaredy cat and supper at The Surf Club sounds good, so, stupidly, I let my guard down. “Yes, let’s go to supper!” This is what happened.

As we’re walking up to The Surf Club, I see this sign:

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Even the sign says “danger!”  I say, “No way I’m going any farther. Take me home for supper, now!”  Nona and Papa have no choice.  Look at that sign. It confirms everything I’ve been saying. Australia is a dangerous place.  They say, “OK, Solbit, we’ll go home for supper, but we have to stop at the grocery on our way home, if we’re going to make supper.”  Fine by me.

We walk into the grocery.  Nona and Papa take me over to the seafood deli area.  They’re going to look for fish or something.  Nona leans over to see something and I’m looking down from her pocket right into these monsters.

 

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Oh, yeah.  Girl, you should have heard me scream.  I rattled the crushed ice, for sure.  I finally calmed down, after the nice fishmonger lady told me that these local lobsters were actually vegetarian just like us iguanodons.  (You remember that I’m an iguanodon, don’t you?).  So, these lobsters and I are sort of family.  Whew!

Well, maybe Australia isn’t as dangerous as I thought, but, take my advice, think twice about coming here.

I’m your friend.

Love,

Solbit

May 2015

  • You may be asking yourself, “Who is Solbit?” Solbit is a fictional character, but she is a real plastic dinosaur, sent to us unsolicited in a package we ordered from Photojojo. So, she’s a plastic jurassic. Solbit is short for the four names given her by our grandchildren: Sparkle, Orangie, Lulu, Breakit. We tend to use her given names for when she’s been naughty. Thank you for visiting Tales of a Plastic Jurassic. Solbit likes company and hopes you’ll come back.
  • You can learn more about Solbit at her About page and in the earlier posts, “Solbit: How I Got My Name” and “Solbit: How I Got to Travel.”

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